some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
the liver wants what the liver wants
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
