where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think your dad took our porno
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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