Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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