fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
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