Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
