So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
worst night to have a conscience
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
