I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Randomize