Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize