Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
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dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
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Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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