Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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