dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
