Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
