I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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