Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.