even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE