Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize