problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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