So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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