that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
