You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
