Swine flu. Run for my life!
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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