she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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