Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
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Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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