eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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