I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
How's work?
Spinning.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
