well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
how does that bad decision feel?
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
