If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
we made out on top of his cat.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Randomize
