Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
smell my finger.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
