That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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