I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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