Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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