absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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