found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
