fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
