I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
