Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I just found a bag of teeth...
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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