I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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