he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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