So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize