Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
How's work?
Spinning.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Randomize
