i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
