It's a beautiful day for a hangover
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize