Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
