My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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