Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize