I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Randomize