By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
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