i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
i just google imaged poop.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
