i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Randomize
