Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize