he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
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