remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize