brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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