Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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