this just has baby written all over it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
