i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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