My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
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I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
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Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole