I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
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i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
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Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.